These are just couple of examples of the sayings that we hear around us every day. The common criteria among them all seems to be that they all indicate as if there is no choice. But really … isn’t there?

Think about your day from the very beginning to all around 24 hours. Isn’t it all about choices? You choose to have breakfast or not, you choose to go to work or not, you choose to go home or not, you choose to play with your children or not, you choose to eat healthy or not, you choose to enjoy the jog out or not, you choose to watch TV or not, you choose to go to bed early or not, you choose!

Can’t versus CAN

How do we limit our choices so easily? What makes us think that we can not do something? Obviously there are some limitations to what we can and can not do, but to say “I can not have lunch” or “I can not play” or “I can not quit my job” are the kind of statements where we have chosen the limitations and it is important to remind ourselves from time to time that these limitations are not really present. We can if we choose to!

Do we want to do what we have to do?

What makes us think that there are things in life that we have to do? We have to eat, we have to work, we have to get up, we have to call somebody, we have to lose weight, we have to …, we have to …

Think for a couple of minutes and write down at least 10 things in your life that you feel you have to do!

And now change the phrase “I have to” into “I want to”.

Does it feel right to say that?

If it does not feel right to say I want to in some case, what is it that makes you think you have to do it then? What happened if you did not do that? What else could you do instead? What needs to be changed for you to feel good about saying “I want to” instead?

What about feelings?

What about our emotions, do we have a choice there? When another driver cuts in unexpectedly, or does something “illogical” to your understanding, do you shout at him/her in your car? When you are in a hurry somewhere you “have to” go and your children seem to be sabotaging your plan, they find reasons to stop and look at some things on their way, they complain that they do not want to walk, they wander around and ask million questions, do you snap at them and tell them to stop waisting time and hurry up? When somebody tells something as if it was the truth and you “know” that this is not so, do you feel irritated and cut in to enlighten them? Do you get angry when the taxi you pre-ordered, to make sure you will be on time, is late and therefor makes you late? Are there people in your office or any other place who just constantly annoy you?

Can we choose how we feel about something/someone? Can we choose how we react to some situations in life? CAN we?

Even in the darkest moments, when we feel some uncontrollable pressure rushing into us, creating the dizziness in head and making the heart beat fast, we feel the pressure in our stomach and a lump in our throat, we feel the anger rising and we feel overtaken by the emotions that we do not want, remember! There always is a choice!

Think about it, how much lighter you feel the next time the pressure arises and you just remember that you can choose! Think how much power you get from just the knowledge that you do have a choice. You might not know what the choice is just jet, but do remember, it is there!

Also remember, there is no right or wrong emotion! It is ok to be mad sometimes, it is ok to be sad sometimes, it is ok to feel angry and annoyed as long as you remember – there is another way should you want to choose it! We make choices based on our best knowledge at any moment in time and we do have the best intentions in mind. If you do not like the consequences of the choice, choose again! You CAN!

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself.

Choose your future.

Choose life.

John Hodge (Trainspotting)